he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
