Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
