Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator

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(707): View more from California

I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.

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(240): View more from Maryland

and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.

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(315): View more from New York

I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you

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(203): View more from Connecticut

you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.

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(616): View more from Michigan

I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??

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(330): View more from Ohio

My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.

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