There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
4 words: hood of his car
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize