he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
