Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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