don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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