i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
