genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
