So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Your penis caused this!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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