You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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