I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
