I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
