idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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