found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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