Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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