But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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