I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
My vagina just recognized that song.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
