Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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