I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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