I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
