Your tits are I can't wait for
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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