That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Holy shit dude........stairs
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
