Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
