he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
