is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
