New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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