so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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