Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
