i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
