OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize