Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
