never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
