Christians are straight up FREAKS
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
