i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Sponge bath it is.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
