the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
