Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
they need to just BURY HIM!
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
