Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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