I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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