dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
