She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
