Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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