May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
