Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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