So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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