She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
