I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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