Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize