This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
