Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize