My hair reeks of homosexuality.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
