apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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