i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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