I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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