is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
