My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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