Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
