Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
