you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
A bitchslap is in order.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
