I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Girls should come with a carfax report
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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