whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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