I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
