I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
